Reviews
Reviews of my work from publishing professionals at Random House
You never dream of dying Review added June 2009
Random House Readers’ Group Feedback On You never dream of dying
Ah the twists and turns of fate, I get to review another short piece of writing from Joe!
I clearly loved reading ‘He sings because he is’, so expectation levels were high when it came to reading this piece. Again, Joe doesn’t disappoint. There is power and beauty behind the words, a fine crafting of images, moments and feelings that inspires and leaves you awe-struck.
In this piece I very much like the weaving of scenes and characters through the story, the clever placement of information to build a picture of the characters. Indeed, not once did I see the over use of sentimentality that I commented on before. There was also a larger sense of tragedy in the story and a more complex plot with a bigger twist at the end, so I would place this story above ‘He sings because he is’ for those reasons. Though the same poetic heart is still present
While I have only read two of his pieces now, I was a little surprised at how similar they are in themes. The majesty and beauty of music, the growing expectation of loss, the sustaining of brain injuries, the movement of the story from the bedside to the past etc… All mirrored in both stories. Now that might be deliberate, maybe they are from a series of stories focused around the same theme, and if so then great, however, if it is a case of unconscious repetition then I would caution the writer against using the same theme elements too often. Joe definitely has a style and skill that is compelling and emotive, and I would hope to see that talent used in a wider range of stories to really showcase what he can do.
To conclude: Another great story, but I hope the next story I get to read of Joe’s will be different so that I can really judge his versatility.
Congratulations Joe on another top ten hit!
Feedback from Gary, Random House
He sings because he is Review added Dec 2008
Random House Readers’ Group Feedback On He sings because he is
Dear Joe,
Many congratulations on reaching the Top Ten for consecutive months! Reading your short story I am not surprised by your success – it proves of promising literary quality.
Your storyline, Steven Little, a violinist at the height of his career, who has been diagnosed with cancer, is touching and the reader can easily connect with your protagonist, his passion for music and his coming to terms with his disease. In addition, you integrate some romantic – and sometimes humorous – scenes between Steven and his wife Miriam which add warmth to your story.
It is evident that you’re especially strong with language and narrative. From the very start your use of language enthralled me:
“like heather-scented upcurrents of warm air”
“ecstatic melody that shimmers up and down the octaves”
“free spirit ascending, vibrant, sublime”
The use of words is very melodious and supports your story of Steven the violinist. Your words are like music that play in accord with your short story.
I was very pleased to see your scenes neatly integrated as well: Steven’s performance, his and Miriam’s first encounter, his visit to the doctor – they nicely intertwine with each other without the reader getting lost in the story. In fact, the reader can easily put himself into Steven’s feet and follow his thoughts and feelings during his performance.
To me personally, He Sings Because He Is is one of my favourites of the stories I have read on YouWriteOn.com so far and I wish you all the best with your writing. May I also take this opportunity to apologise for the delay in submitting our reviews due to unforeseen time pressures. I hope this late review still comes in useful.
With best wishes,
Nicole
Feedback from Nicole, Random House
Random House Readers’ Group Feedback on He sings because he is
After reading this short story it was clear that at the heart of Joe’s writing is poetry, pure and unashamed.
It is a travesty that his short stories have somehow been missed from the Random House reviews every month, and for that I apologies on behalf of all of us, because they are a joy to read. Indeed, after reading ‘He sings because he is’ I went straight on to reading another of his pieces that one of my colleagues is reviewing.
This short piece is exactly what a short story needs to be. It engages you, drives you, affects you, and then at its end leaves you changed, its work completed…
The style is colourful and poetic, without being pretentious. It uses phrasings and sentence structures that are succinct and effective, yet it also tells a story. One that is appealing and clear to follow. Some writers that use heavily symbolic prose can fall foul to convoluted and ill formed stories, a trap that the author has skilfully avoided.
I was concerned that my review of this story was distorted because of the themes proximity to my own life (Being a performing musician and also with a mother who has just undergone having a brain tumour removed!) However, I decided that that fact could go both ways… If it was badly written I would have felt insulted, affronted by its poor handling or the stories theme. Luckily it is well written, and commendably done with a delicacy and respect for the issue with which it focuses.
If I was to make any observation that would be of help to the author it would be around the dialog in the scenes with Miriam on the train and on stage towards the pieces climax. In both scenes the dialog is rich in sentimentality, and for me it get a little too rich at times. Partly I put that down to being Steven’s emotionally tainted recollection, which in turns leads me to wonder if the author wants to reader to see that it is such. But another part of me thinks that the story would read better, and therefore have wider appeal, if it was toned down a bit. Still if it was the author’s intention to make it overly sentimental as it is from Steven’s perspective, then that is fine.
I Wish the author much luck in the publication of his works and congratulate him on reaching the top ten on more than one occasion for different stories – a sign that his writing has consistent appeal. My hope is that his poetic skill and subtlety translates well to novels, and that soon we will be seeing novel extracts in the top ten.
Feedback from Gary, Random House
Diminuendo Review added Jan 2009
Random House Readers’ Group Feedback On Diminuendo
I think this is a good story, with potential to be really fantastic. The idea is original and interesting and the narrative voice is strong and convincing. Some of the language is really beautifully pitched eg. ‘her needle-sharp pencil stabbling the life from a wandering crochet’ and it has tangible atmosphere.I think there’s more of a story here than is told though. I’d like to know more about his relationship with his parents – why is piano so important to them and why does it make them so angry. If you don’t know this the violence and arguments seem over stated. I’m not that interested in Nick actually. He’s interesting as a fellow pupil but the comparison between the adult men isn’t handled nearly as well and the motorway service setting seems random and distracting. Why are they meeting there? Why not in the pub? Something more about the piano teacher’s illness and if possible some more idea of her motivation for paying for the lessons – did she fail to make the grade herself, is she paying his parents back for something. It doesn’t seem clear. And without more explanation the ending seems rushed and although I love the idea that a child could think that they could kill someone just be playing badly, it doesn’t ring quite true for this child. As I have said some of the language is lovely, but some could be a bit less extravagent. Where you use adult and quite complicated words like ‘disquieting solemnity’ it doesn’t sound like a child, or like the man he’s become of no particular ambition. I think cutting some of the adjectives would give the story more power. Could you try starting with. ‘No music room should be this still?’ I think the introductory paragraphs are distracting. At first I thought there was a group music lesson in progress, which seemed strange. I love the description of the shared experience of the children of Mrs Crabbe and would like to see what would happen if you worked up the difference between how they perceive their teacher and how adults do. There’s so much here to comment on and a lot of it really good it just needs some work on the back story and then a really ruthless edit of the flowery language . You can write really well without it!
Let me think Review added Sept 2009
‘Let me think’ is a longer short story. It received mostly very good reviews on Youwriteon.com and peaked at number two in the ratings. In so doing it became eligible for this short review from Random House publishing professionals and has recently entered the best seller listings. The review follows:
Let Me Think by Joe 90
I thought this was a really intriguing story with an innovative plot and I enjoyed reading it. I also think your writing style is great, carrying the reader along with it as any good thriller should do.
You’ve created some very vivid characters, particularly in Paul, Sir Ian and Candace, and I wanted to get to know them better. I also wanted to know much more about certain details of the plot, particularly the relationship and those intriguing middle scenes between Paul and Candace. I actually think that there’s enough plot in this short story for a novel, and I really do feel the story would benefit from being expanded. At the moment lots of exciting and dramatic events are brushed over very quickly, meaning that certain explanations are a little unclear. Your writing is certainly strong enough to carry through a lengthier piece of work, but obviously this is only a suggestion.
This is a really interesting twist on a thriller – congratulations!
This short story is included on the excerpts page.
Aiming for the Heart review added April 2010
This short story which featured on this site earlier in the year achieved Bestseller Status on YouWriteOn and was granted a professional review.
Professional Critique for Aiming for the Heart by Joe 90
I really enjoyed this and was left absolutely on the edge of my seat at the end wondering quite what Nicci’s mother had done, whether she was alive and what had driven her to hate Nicci and her family so much. In fact, I found the revelation of the damaged photo really quite sinister and unsettling – a great twist at the end.
I think you could develop this further into a longer piece – I was definitely intrigued enough to want to read more. Your writing style is very immediate and draws the reader in from the outset. Your setting and characters also felt very realistic and convincing. I think readers will warm to Nicci, Gabriel and Simon, and be intrigued by why Nicci doesn’t get on with her mother.
I wondered why Nicci’s mother, having chosen to adopt a child, grew to dislike her so much – whether something had happened to push her to that point. I also initially felt that perhaps Nicci could have been nicer to her mother, but then with the final twist at the end you come to realise quite how unpleasant ‘Mother’ is. I think if you did write more on this, there are certainly some weighty issues and questions that you could explore.
First reader review of ‘Past; Tense’ and what a beaut! Thanks Caroline!
5.0 out of 5 stars a great collection to make you think, smile and cry, 5 July 2010
By
Caroline Corfield (Newcastle) – See all my reviews
This review is from: Past; Tense (Paperback)
Joe Harding writes a great short story, classic twists or building crescendos of emotion, it’s all here, involving you, as he rightly states on his back cover. There is a good mix of amusingly dark tales and poignant endgames to lives; his writing is descriptive but never heavy and he displays the hand of an author who deserves mainstream publishing. Buy this book for yourself, then buy it as a present because you won’t want to give your first copy away and you can be in at the start of his career!
March 2011 Professional review of Past; Tense! And good as well. Follow this link.
Here it is in its entirety:
Browse: Home / Fiction, Literary, Reviews / Review 195: Past; Tense and Other Short Stories by Joe Harding
Review 195: Past; Tense and Other Short Stories by Joe Harding
By Peter Hassebroek on March 14, 2011
Past; Tense and Other Short Stories
By Joe Harding
New Generation Publishing
Copyright © 2009
ISBN: 978-1-9065588-8-4
200 pages
$13.99 at Amazon.com
£7.59 at Amazon.co.uk
I can’t say I fully grasp why the title Past; Tense was chosen for the second story, let alone the entire collection. A double-, triple-, or even quadruple-entendre I imagine, involving grammatical tenses, emotional tension, and chronology. Its phonetic awkwardness does foreshadow Joe Harding’s collection as literary fiction; yet these ten well-written, well-edited stories, narrated in ten unique voices, are surprisingly accessible.
Take one of my favourite pieces, the meta-fictional story, Come in, please. It dramatizes the inner struggle writers face from characters possessing a will of their own. The writer invites a bewildered character into his house. The character, a desperate man who has turned to thievery to support his family, is suspicious at first but then glad for a non- judgmental ear and willing to reveal himself.
Don’t start snivelling. I don’t feel sorry for you, even if you do. So when the money ran tight, you had to find money from other sources?
“She hadn’t even got a nice dress. We’d never been to a hotel together, not even for a night. I got the money and we had a weekend away from this hole—that was when that picture was taken. Chrissy gave up a lot for me. I just wanted her to have nice things now and then.”
Then I take it your employer didn’t find out right away who had their hand in the till?
“And then Darren was born. Nappies, a new washing machine, baby food. Chrissy’s Mum, stuck-up cow, no help from there. Chrissy off work. My Dad did what he could but he’s got emphysema.”
So you helped yourself?
“Yes. I helped myself, dammit! We never had nothing new. Who are you to sit there judging me? You’d have done the same.”
Good, you’re filling out your motives. You’ve justified yourself to yourself. That makes you exceptionally dangerous. Tell me about Darren.
The depth of the poor thief’s character contrasting the self-serving but objective writer is what makes this piece for me. This is no throwaway protagonist invented solely for meta-fictional effect; we have a genuine and enticing conflict. In the end, the reader is left to wonder about the thief himself, as well as what the writer will make of him. The technique is used again in a later story but in a different way.
Another of my favourites is The Skeleton in the Cupboard, told in the voice of a young girl who is unaware her father is an alcoholic. Her ignorance increases the pathos.
Dad forgot to pick me up from school again today, so Mrs Jackson had to bring me home, and when Dad came in he was ever so funny. He kept on pretending to fall over me, and he was talking all slow so that I couldn’t understand him. Then he fell asleep on the settee with the telly on and I cuddled up to him. He was nice, though he smelt all smoky and his breath was like overripe plums we get in Granddad’s orchard. Mum went mad when she came in though Dad kept on trying to hug her. Then he started crying so I guess he was sad that he didn’t have a job.
I sat on the third stair and listened to them both shouting. When Mum shouts at Dad it’s like a pirate film I saw once. The pirates fired lots of horrible things at the other ship; they stuffed bits of metal, chains and things in their cannons and blasted them at the enemy. Mum does that to Dad. Sometimes she says little sharp things to hurt him, then great big bad things so that Dad walks out and slams the door.
The writing is sophisticated throughout and these stories have been refined through strong editing. Credit is given to a website called Youwriteon.com at which some of these stories have been peer reviewed. It’s impossible to gauge the actual effect this had—and I imagine the author wouldn’t be able to remember either—but I suspect it’s a hybridizing one. The stories have been smoothed out, but perhaps a bit too much in some cases. As if collaboration sanitized the end product, making for an easier read, but at the cost of daring. It’s only a feeling I had and it’s hard for me to back that up with examples. It’s entirely possible too that this is a mature author still developing a style.
My only qualm is that all but two of the stories are written in first-person point of view. The variance in these intimate voices can make for a jarring transition when reading stories back-to-back. What is commendable is the variety. It’s a grab bag of styles, lengths, tenses, voices, and subjects; a fine exhibit of the author’s obvious abilities. One story ends and the reader has no clue what the next will be about. While there are recurring themes, such as music, this does produce a lack of cohesiveness. Not necessarily a drawback, as it allows the flexibility of reading the stories—all of which are worthwhile, some of which are gems—out of order.
I hope you enjoyed your visit to my website. Come back again and I will include more material soon.
In the meantime, email me with your comments or suggestions
Let me think Review added Sept 2009
‘Let me think’ is a longer short story. It received mostly very good reviews on Youwriteon.com and peaked at number two in the ratings. In so doing it became eligible for this short review from Random House publishing professionals and has recently entered the best seller listings. The review follows:
Let Me Think by Joe 90
I thought this was a really intriguing story with an innovative plot and I enjoyed reading it. I also think your writing style is great, carrying the reader along with it as any good thriller should do.
You’ve created some very vivid characters, particularly in Paul, Sir Ian and Candace, and I wanted to get to know them better. I also wanted to know much more about certain details of the plot, particularly the relationship and those intriguing middle scenes between Paul and Candace. I actually think that there’s enough plot in this short story for a novel, and I really do feel the story would benefit from being expanded. At the moment lots of exciting and dramatic events are brushed over very quickly, meaning that certain explanations are a little unclear. Your writing is certainly strong enough to carry through a lengthier piece of work, but obviously this is only a suggestion.
This is a really interesting twist on a thriller – congratulations!
This short story is included on the excerpts page.
Aiming for the Heart review added April 2010
This short story which featured on this site earlier in the year achieved Bestseller Status on YouWriteOn and was granted a professional review.
Professional Critique for Aiming for the Heart by Joe 90
I really enjoyed this and was left absolutely on the edge of my seat at the end wondering quite what Nicci’s mother had done, whether she was alive and what had driven her to hate Nicci and her family so much. In fact, I found the revelation of the damaged photo really quite sinister and unsettling – a great twist at the end.
I think you could develop this further into a longer piece – I was definitely intrigued enough to want to read more. Your writing style is very immediate and draws the reader in from the outset. Your setting and characters also felt very realistic and convincing. I think readers will warm to Nicci, Gabriel and Simon, and be intrigued by why Nicci doesn’t get on with her mother.
I wondered why Nicci’s mother, having chosen to adopt a child, grew to dislike her so much – whether something had happened to push her to that point. I also initially felt that perhaps Nicci could have been nicer to her mother, but then with the final twist at the end you come to realise quite how unpleasant ‘Mother’ is. I think if you did write more on this, there are certainly some weighty issues and questions that you could explore.
First reader review of ‘Past; Tense’ and what a beaut! Thanks Caroline!
|
5.0 out of 5 stars a great collection to make you think, smile and cry, 5 July 2010
This review is from: Past; Tense (Paperback)
Joe Harding writes a great short story, classic twists or building crescendos of emotion, it’s all here, involving you, as he rightly states on his back cover. There is a good mix of amusingly dark tales and poignant endgames to lives; his writing is descriptive but never heavy and he displays the hand of an author who deserves mainstream publishing. Buy this book for yourself, then buy it as a present because you won’t want to give your first copy away and you can be in at the start of his career! |
March 2011 Professional review of Past; Tense! And good as well. Follow this link.
Review 195: Past; Tense and Other Short Stories by Joe Harding
By Peter Hassebroek on March 14, 2011
Past; Tense and Other Short Stories
By Joe Harding
New Generation Publishing
Copyright © 2009
ISBN: 978-1-9065588-8-4
200 pages
$13.99 at Amazon.com
£7.59 at Amazon.co.uk
I can’t say I fully grasp why the title Past; Tense was chosen for the second story, let alone the entire collection. A double-, triple-, or even quadruple-entendre I imagine, involving grammatical tenses, emotional tension, and chronology. Its phonetic awkwardness does foreshadow Joe Harding’s collection as literary fiction; yet these ten well-written, well-edited stories, narrated in ten unique voices, are surprisingly accessible.
Take one of my favourite pieces, the meta-fictional story, Come in, please. It dramatizes the inner struggle writers face from characters possessing a will of their own. The writer invites a bewildered character into his house. The character, a desperate man who has turned to thievery to support his family, is suspicious at first but then glad for a non- judgmental ear and willing to reveal himself.
Don’t start snivelling. I don’t feel sorry for you, even if you do. So when the money ran tight, you had to find money from other sources?
“She hadn’t even got a nice dress. We’d never been to a hotel together, not even for a night. I got the money and we had a weekend away from this hole—that was when that picture was taken. Chrissy gave up a lot for me. I just wanted her to have nice things now and then.”
Then I take it your employer didn’t find out right away who had their hand in the till?
“And then Darren was born. Nappies, a new washing machine, baby food. Chrissy’s Mum, stuck-up cow, no help from there. Chrissy off work. My Dad did what he could but he’s got emphysema.”
So you helped yourself?
“Yes. I helped myself, dammit! We never had nothing new. Who are you to sit there judging me? You’d have done the same.”
Good, you’re filling out your motives. You’ve justified yourself to yourself. That makes you exceptionally dangerous. Tell me about Darren.
The depth of the poor thief’s character contrasting the self-serving but objective writer is what makes this piece for me. This is no throwaway protagonist invented solely for meta-fictional effect; we have a genuine and enticing conflict. In the end, the reader is left to wonder about the thief himself, as well as what the writer will make of him. The technique is used again in a later story but in a different way.
Another of my favourites is The Skeleton in the Cupboard, told in the voice of a young girl who is unaware her father is an alcoholic. Her ignorance increases the pathos.
Dad forgot to pick me up from school again today, so Mrs Jackson had to bring me home, and when Dad came in he was ever so funny. He kept on pretending to fall over me, and he was talking all slow so that I couldn’t understand him. Then he fell asleep on the settee with the telly on and I cuddled up to him. He was nice, though he smelt all smoky and his breath was like overripe plums we get in Granddad’s orchard. Mum went mad when she came in though Dad kept on trying to hug her. Then he started crying so I guess he was sad that he didn’t have a job.
I sat on the third stair and listened to them both shouting. When Mum shouts at Dad it’s like a pirate film I saw once. The pirates fired lots of horrible things at the other ship; they stuffed bits of metal, chains and things in their cannons and blasted them at the enemy. Mum does that to Dad. Sometimes she says little sharp things to hurt him, then great big bad things so that Dad walks out and slams the door.
The writing is sophisticated throughout and these stories have been refined through strong editing. Credit is given to a website called Youwriteon.com at which some of these stories have been peer reviewed. It’s impossible to gauge the actual effect this had—and I imagine the author wouldn’t be able to remember either—but I suspect it’s a hybridizing one. The stories have been smoothed out, but perhaps a bit too much in some cases. As if collaboration sanitized the end product, making for an easier read, but at the cost of daring. It’s only a feeling I had and it’s hard for me to back that up with examples. It’s entirely possible too that this is a mature author still developing a style.
My only qualm is that all but two of the stories are written in first-person point of view. The variance in these intimate voices can make for a jarring transition when reading stories back-to-back. What is commendable is the variety. It’s a grab bag of styles, lengths, tenses, voices, and subjects; a fine exhibit of the author’s obvious abilities. One story ends and the reader has no clue what the next will be about. While there are recurring themes, such as music, this does produce a lack of cohesiveness. Not necessarily a drawback, as it allows the flexibility of reading the stories—all of which are worthwhile, some of which are gems—out of order.